Reflection

Three years ago, I made a list of resolutions summed up by the following: “2008 will not suck in the manner of 2007.”

Two years ago, I made a similar list and ended it with, “2009 will not suck in the manner of 2008.”

Last year, I made the list and then wrote about it on a short-lived blog, concluding that, “2009 was a year of healing, growth, and rebuilding….  I don’t feel like the new year is so much a fresh start as a continuation of an upward trend.”

And then, sometime during the spring, I came up with the idea for this blog, and have been continuing upward ever since.

That is, of course, very, very simplified.  We’ve already established that I operate on a roller-coaster, and therefore I’ve been moving forward, not exactly on a straight diagonal, so much as on a wavy line with a gradual ascent.  But compared to 2007’s marriage/divorce debacle, and 2008’s pregnancy/miscarriage folly, the past two years have actually been calm, and pleasant, aside from the occasional aftershock.

To recap the year:

  • I took the first class in a series to get a copy-editing certificate, thinking this would be my road to a career; then I decided to start a major writing project instead, so put off taking the other three classes indefinitely.
  • I got a road bike, learned to ride it, and successfully rode a 30-mile charity ride, then successfully published an article about it.
  • Momentarily putting my own issues aside, I attended one wedding, and held one newborn baby, my beautiful niece, Lilliana:

Lilly, 9 months, wearing the shoes her favorite auntie gave her.

  • I got the position I’ve wanted at work, pretty much since the day I started over three years ago – writing the order for the bakery (ironic?) – and have been doing fairly well with it.
  • My dog died, which, although heartbreaking, has allowed me to find some perspective on what loss and grief are supposed to feel like, when processed naturally.  (As opposed to my miscarriage grief, which got stuck and frozen in time, and has been haunting me for years.)
  • Doug and I took some steps in our relationship, combining bank accounts, signing another 14-month lease on our apartment, and starting his dental work.  (The last of which, as I’ve mentioned before, is an unofficial condition of me agreeing to marry him.)

All in all, the year has been eventful, productive, and exciting, but more privately, I guess, than if it had included, say, my own wedding, my own baby, an actual career move or promotion, or the death of a human family member.  And that, as it was last year, is fine with me.

I do love the symbolism of new-year-new-start, though.  So stay tuned for the inevitable list of resolutions, to be posted tomorrow, or just as soon as I can get together with Erin to continue our New Year’s Day (or some day shortly thereafter) tradition of the past ten years.

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4 Responses to Reflection

  1. runnyyolk says:

    Sounds like it was a good year in spite of everything. Sometimes it’s hard to remember the good things when there seems to be so much bad.

    I’m looking forward to hearing your resolutions! (I just posted mine.)

  2. Arohanui says:

    I love that you have a road bike! My favourite sport. It does sound as though 2010 has been a pretty good year for you – apart from losing your dog of course 😦

    I am very pleased to have found your blog Marie. You are a great writer. Happy New Year, I am off to read Runnyyolk’s resolutions… xx

  3. Chris says:

    As promised… http://justme365.wordpress.com/2011/01/01/37-130-less-like-a-bouncer-more-like-a-friend/ Thanks for the reminder and jump start 🙂 Happy New Year.

  4. mommyodyssey says:

    Marie darling – you need to add a subscribe widget to your blog! 🙂
    So – wishing you a happy new year specifically so I can check the box that tells wordpress to “notify me of new posts via email”.
    *hugs*!

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