2011 New Year’s list (late and incomplete)

It feels like the first was way more than nine days ago, but maybe that’s just my warped sense of time.  Even on, like, the third, when customers were approaching my register and asking how my year was going so far, it felt strange – the way it might if someone asked the same question, say, in March.  Or August.

But finally, nine days later than anticipated, I was able to meet up with Erin today and get our list of resolutions together.  Actually, it’s more than just resolutions.  We have four categories, to help us focus on different aspects of our self-improvement goals.  Here’s this year’s list so far, though we’ll likely be adding to it as we think of other things in the next few days.

Resolutions:  These are the things that most people would consider resolutions – health, fitness, and financial goals.

  • Drink more water.  (The ideal amount is half your body weight in ounces.  For example, I weigh about 120 lbs, so I should be drinking about 60 ounces of water each day.  Sorry to the metric people who will have to convert this equation.) Tea counts as water; soda does not.  Drink less soda.
  • Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle.  In other words, exercise, but for me, it’s specifically about the bike – besides the health benefits, I have a lot psychologically tied up in my attempts at road biking.
  • Spend at least 10 minutes each day tidying up.  Things like dishes and laundry, which should be done anyway, don’t count.
  • Make more dinners, as opposed to going out to eat or getting ready-made meals at work.  It’s healthier, it saves money.  (I may need to learn to cook.)

Revolutions: This is the “fuck you” category, where we focus on things we don’t like about ourselves or our situations, and vow to change them.

  • Clean out our closets.  Get rid of clothes that no longer fit our styles or bodies, get rid of some of the tchotchkes sitting around our houses collecting dust, get rid of anything with bad juju.  Also, clean out the facebook closets: delete/hide people we don’t really like, or who post too much annoying stuff, like ultrasound pictures.
  • More public displays of affection.  Or private displays of affection.  Or whatever.  We had a hard time articulating this one.  Erin wants to say more “I love yous” and other sweet things to her boyfriend; she’s not usually the type to get all mushy, and wants to step outside of her comfort zone.  I’m good at mushiness, but I need to get out of my own comfort zone and be more forward: compliment Doug more often, tell him he’s hot, call him my hero (to his face, not just here).  It comes down to both of us wanting to be more affectionate towards and appreciative of our significant others, in ways that don’t come naturally to us.
  • Call shenanigans when necessary.  Erin is having a hard time putting her foot down on something her boyfriend is doing even though he knows it upsets her.  It’s taken me two years to get rid of the IUD that I never wanted in the first place.  (I know, I said I wouldn’t talk about that until tomorrow.)  We have to learn that it’s okay to listen to our instincts and stand up for ourselves.

Revelations: This is where we acknowledge the parts of us that need to be pampered, whether physically or emotionally.  (Usually the former begets the latter anyway.)

Special People’s Club: We each pick a couple people we want to make an extra effort for – friends we’ve lost touch with, friends who are struggling, etc.

  • Erin’s friend Heather.  (Heather makes Erin’s list a lot; they’ve been friends since grade school.)
  • Doug’s sisters.  (Doug has four teenage sisters – two on each side of his family.  I feel like my best time to form close relationships with them is now.)

We left the restaurant wondering: is this really it?  Usually our lists are longer – especially the angry “Revolutions” section.  So we left ourselves the option of adding or modifying in the next few days.

What I find more interesting that what made the list, though, is what didn’t.

I couldn’t bring myself to commit “have sex every day” to writing.  Doug and I are still doing it, but there’s an element of the Dread Pirate Roberts to it – “Good night, Westley; I’ll most likely kill you in the morning” – as though we might give up any time – no harm, no foul.  And it’s definitely a quantity-over-quality operation.  I keep hoping that eventually my body will catch up to what it’s doing, that I’ll start to actually want the sex I’m having.  But as that hasn’t happened yet, I hate to admit, my heart’s not in it enough to actually make the resolution.

And I almost put Monica in my Special People’s Club.  I would like, so much, to be able to reconnect with her.  But the past few times I’ve tried, it’s always been her saying she was going out of town, or too busy with the baby, and so I feel like making an extra effort might just be setting myself up for extra heartbreak.

This entry was posted in friends, future, love, sex or lack thereof. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to 2011 New Year’s list (late and incomplete)

  1. runnyyolk says:

    Love the cleaning out the closets one… all the aspects of it.

    PS-The Princess Bride is my all-time favourite movie.

  2. Tulie Goldwyn says:

    I really like the Facebook-cleaning revolution. When I lost my job, I sensed that it would be risky for me to delete ex-bosses who would supposedly hook me up with recommendations down the road (yeah, they’re rather petty people). And there was so much drama with a couple friends at work who I accidentally blocked from my wall once when the privacy changes came through (I thought I was blocking them from seeing one status, but it blocked the entire wall and they took offense…because when they went to my profile to send me a fucking message saying sorry I lost my job, they noticed they were blocked and decided not to reach out after all). So yes, Facebook is a petri dish for petty.

    I didn’t want to send more drama out into the universe/a small city where I very well might run into some of them. Nor did I have much interest in staying friends with them, hearing inane updates, etc. So I decided that while it was still in my best interest to not piss former bosses/coworkers off, I would hide them completely — and promise to delete them once I felt settled into a new life and 100% rid of that place.

    It’s nice, and cleansing, and a bit pointless, but I don’t care enough to so much as look them up when I’ve had too much wine. And because FB is so political, this is a nice work-around…although in a perfect world, you wouldn’t have to give these people a second thought.

    In the past, I’d done the same with exes I didn’t want to defriend, but whose “baby due this ___!” updates kind of threw a weird kink in my day. Again, I was delighted at how little I was tempted to have a look at their profiles.

    • Marie says:

      I’ve become an expert at hiding people and then unhiding them, say, nine months later. But it’s case-by-case, not across the board. There are a few preggos I don’t mind following, and then I end up pretty pleased with myself, because hey look! I’m commenting on 3-D ultrasound pictures without vomiting!

  3. Pingback: Rule #1: no PDA!* | Bakery Closed Until Further Notice

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