Panic

I am two days post-IUD-removal, I started spotting this morning, and I suddenly had this idiotic thought:

What if I was pregnant?

What if all my hormonal symptoms, which I was attributing to my Mirena, were mirroring my one-time pregnancy symptoms because I was actually pregnant again?  And now, by pulling the plug on the IUD, and briefly dilating my cervix to do so, I’ve actually induced another miscarriage?  Why didn’t I take a frickin’ HPT before I went in demanding to switch birth control?  Why didn’t they give me a pregnancy test in the office, just in case?!

Let’s break this down:

  • Mirena is 99.9% effective at preventing pregnancy.  This doesn’t mean it’s 100% effective.  It is possible to get pregnant with an IUD in place, and then it becomes a judgment call as to whether or not to remove the device, since the pregnancy’s possibility for success will be touchy either way.  Which means that, if I was pregnant, there was most likely nothing they could do for me anyway.
  • The last time I took an HPT was sometime last spring, when I first started feeling bloated and uncomfortable.  It was negative.  There is no reason to believe anything has changed since then, except I started getting more/more frequent/worse stomachaches.
  • My symptoms did not go away immediately after Mirena’s removal.  But I didn’t expect them to.  They didn’t go away immediately after my D&C either, and I ended up having to do a cleanse/detox to reset myself a few weeks later.  I have actually been looking into doing something similar this time as well.
  • The nurse practitioner told me not to expect a period right away.  She said the lining’s been kept so thin that it could take 4-8 weeks to build up enough to shed.  But I started spotting today.  That seems pretty instant to me.
  • In the shower this morning, I felt for my cervix, like I’ve been doing regularly since I got the IUD, and it felt different.  Does this mean it’s dilated, and will soon start leaking precious gestational sacs?  Wait.  Of course it felt different!  There’s no longer a wire wrapped around it.  I have no idea what it’s supposed to feel like without the IUD, because I had never once in my life felt my cervix before I got the IUD.
  • If the nurse practitioner had thought pregnancy was a concern, she would have given me a pregnancy test, right?  They can do that at the OBGYN office; they have the technology.  But she did not give me a pregnancy test.  Which means she was not concerned.  Which means I should not be concerned either.

Oh, except I am concerned, because, have I mentioned, I’m fucking crazy and hormonal and irrational?  I told Doug everything I’m worried about, and he said it wasn’t possible.

“So you’re not going to the store to buy me a pregnancy test so I’ll shut up?” I asked.

Would I even want to know?  Would there even be anything they could do at this point?  Or would I just be stuck with a lifetime of regret for another lost baby?

I am really not too thrilled with my body and its functions these days.

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12 Responses to Panic

  1. Chris says:

    Take your time and breathe, Marie. You’ll be fine.

  2. mommyodyssey says:

    Calm down! All is well.
    Here is what most likely happened:
    When you have something stuck up in there an it gets removed, it makes sense that there would be a bit of bleeding from that removal.
    And you’re freaking out because your hormones are re-balancing themselves. All is well. Breathe! *hugs*

  3. Arohanui says:

    I would have said it is very normal to get some spotting after iucd removal. Generally there is some minor bleeding as it is removed, the cerivcal os may be slightly more open for a few days due to the minor trauma of having the iucd pulled through it so this may be why it feels a little different to you (ie not as closed as usual, maybe a bit softer), and your progesterone levels will be falling already so spotting and even a light period can certainly occur as a result. If it gives you piece of mind, then POAS, but I don’t think you need to!

    • Marie says:

      Thanks. I just figured any removal spotting would happen, you know, the same day, but this is comforting. And it’s stopped now – so no different than the spotting I would get while the damn thing was still in.

  4. slcurwin says:

    I hate not knowing anything about myself. I understand that it would be driving you crazy right now. I agree that it’s most likely the side effects of getting the IUD out, but that doesn’t make you feel much better to have us all tell you that. I’d say just POAS, then again, I always have a stash of them so it’s easy for me to say.

    • Marie says:

      I would have, but I have no stash. Although my sister informed me yesterday that they sell them at the Dollar Tree. FOR A DOLLAR. That’s insane.

      • slcurwin says:

        ya, I used to get mine at the dollarama but not I get them even cheaper on line. Ebay, 30 opk’s and 10 HPT’s of a dollar…and then $5 shipping from Hong Kong. you can POAS all you want.

  5. Elizabeth says:

    If you know you can’t trust your brain right now, then trust Doug’s. Exactly one of the two is telling you the truth.

  6. runnyyolk says:

    What all these smart ladies said. Don’t worry, it’s going to be fine!

  7. Pingback: Sane/insane | Bakery Closed Until Further Notice

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