I am two days post-IUD-removal, I started spotting this morning, and I suddenly had this idiotic thought:
What if I was pregnant?
What if all my hormonal symptoms, which I was attributing to my Mirena, were mirroring my one-time pregnancy symptoms because I was actually pregnant again? And now, by pulling the plug on the IUD, and briefly dilating my cervix to do so, I’ve actually induced another miscarriage? Why didn’t I take a frickin’ HPT before I went in demanding to switch birth control? Why didn’t they give me a pregnancy test in the office, just in case?!
Let’s break this down:
- Mirena is 99.9% effective at preventing pregnancy. This doesn’t mean it’s 100% effective. It is possible to get pregnant with an IUD in place, and then it becomes a judgment call as to whether or not to remove the device, since the pregnancy’s possibility for success will be touchy either way. Which means that, if I was pregnant, there was most likely nothing they could do for me anyway.
- The last time I took an HPT was sometime last spring, when I first started feeling bloated and uncomfortable. It was negative. There is no reason to believe anything has changed since then, except I started getting more/more frequent/worse stomachaches.
- My symptoms did not go away immediately after Mirena’s removal. But I didn’t expect them to. They didn’t go away immediately after my D&C either, and I ended up having to do a cleanse/detox to reset myself a few weeks later. I have actually been looking into doing something similar this time as well.
- The nurse practitioner told me not to expect a period right away. She said the lining’s been kept so thin that it could take 4-8 weeks to build up enough to shed. But I started spotting today. That seems pretty instant to me.
- In the shower this morning, I felt for my cervix, like I’ve been doing regularly since I got the IUD, and it felt different. Does this mean it’s dilated, and will soon start leaking precious gestational sacs? Wait. Of course it felt different! There’s no longer a wire wrapped around it. I have no idea what it’s supposed to feel like without the IUD, because I had never once in my life felt my cervix before I got the IUD.
- If the nurse practitioner had thought pregnancy was a concern, she would have given me a pregnancy test, right? They can do that at the OBGYN office; they have the technology. But she did not give me a pregnancy test. Which means she was not concerned. Which means I should not be concerned either.
Oh, except I am concerned, because, have I mentioned, I’m fucking crazy and hormonal and irrational? I told Doug everything I’m worried about, and he said it wasn’t possible.
“So you’re not going to the store to buy me a pregnancy test so I’ll shut up?” I asked.
Would I even want to know? Would there even be anything they could do at this point? Or would I just be stuck with a lifetime of regret for another lost baby?
I am really not too thrilled with my body and its functions these days.