But who’s counting?

Twenty-three days post-IUD-removal, and figured it’s time for another TMI update on my cycles and my sex life.  Maybe it’s not appropriate to keep coming back here, but I find the whole thing really, really fascinating.

First item of business: I am still attracted to Doug.  I had some concerns about what happened between me and my ex after I was no longer hormonally enhanced – namely that I realized I wasn’t attracted to him in any way, physical or mental.  While I had the IUD, I was attracted to no one, and so it didn’t seem to matter that my and Doug’s sex life was nonexistant.  Now that it’s out, and I’m relying on my own body and my own hormones, however wonky they may be, I’ve found that I am attracted to people again.  And, fortunately for all involved parties, the man I’ve chosen to share my bed with is one of them.  Such a relief to know I won’t repeat my past after all.

We finally made it to Costco the other day to buy condoms.  Apparently, Costco’s gotten frisky since my friends were buying Trojan megapacks, because instead of getting a big box of generic rubbers, we walked out with this classy silver tin:

The “Pleasure Pack” includes all sorts of ultra-sensitive, thin, and ribbed condoms.  And one variety, simply called “Tropical,” which are colored and fruit-flavored.  Just in case I didn’t already feel enough like an experimental teenager.

I’m gearing up to get my first period in two years: my boobs have been sore the past few days, and I think I even felt myself ovulating.  I’ve never been so excited about getting my period in my life – not even when I was 14 and still hadn’t had one yet.  With all the girls at school saying things like, “I’m flowing like a faucet,” or, “This pad is so thick, it feels like I’m sitting on a phone book,” I figured I’d happily wait forever for my first visit from Aunt Flo.*  Now, though, I can’t wait for it to start, so I can start counting cycle days, tracking and getting to know my patterns, and setting myself up for success in another few years, when I’ll actually need this information to conceive.

It does make me a little sad, though, to think of all my recently acquired friends in infertility-blog-land, some of whom have been tracking their cycles for years, none of whom are ever excited for their periods to start, all of whom will probably read this and scoff, “Amateur.”  I hope, with all my heart, that these women find the success they are looking for (although, I don’t necessarily want to read about it should they become pregnant), and that I remain, thanks to my one miscarriage, just a visitor in their world.

*Thanks to those lovely comments by my teenage peers, to this day, I have never worn pads…  except after my D&C, as required by my doctors.

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10 Responses to But who’s counting?

  1. Vicky says:

    This post made me giggle! Certainly hope you enjoy your pleasure pack! Also, enjoy the time getting to know your cycles and how your body works. It’s fascinating, really.

  2. Elphaba says:

    Wow that is fancy–Costco has stepped it up since I last bought condoms.

  3. Adina says:

    Ha! That’s awesome, I didn’t even know Costco sold condoms! AND I think it’s funny, might I add, that I didn’t start my period until I was 14 either. 🙂 So glad to hear there were other late bloomers like me 🙂 I was also not eager to get it, I didn’t care if it never came to be honest. But I think out of revenge it finally did come on my 14th birthday. That seriously was the grumpiest birthday ever. Made it memorable too I guess! HA!

  4. Arohanui says:

    Thanks Marie. Glad to hear you are feeling sexy again.

    I am looking forward to AF this month too, as I have finally started to lengthen out my cycle again which I am certain is due to reduced stress, regular exercise and my extremely fertility friendly diet. I’m hoping this means improved egg quality. So, yay!

    When my May/June IVF is successful (as no doubt it better bloody will be!), I will send you an alert warning so that you will know not to visit my blog where I will be bleating on, and on, about my early pregnancy anxieties 😉

    I will devise a code…”Elvis has entered the building”? Or “Bun is in the oven”? Or “Awaiting confinement” etc. Let me know if you have a preference!

    I hope you can manage to get to France as planned (renew that passport today?).

    • Marie says:

      Oh, the Elvis one, definitely.

      And I won’t NOT visit, I’ll just visit on my terms. So if I’m having a crap day, I won’t accidentally stumble on something to make it worse.

      • slcurwin says:

        We’ve always used “the rabbit died” in my family. They all understand (exept the one of my cousins who had a moment of memory laps thinking my actualy rabbit had died). Back from the days when they used rabbits for pregnancy tests. Ya, kinda morbid…but now it’s only metaphorical bunnies.

      • Marie says:

        That would never work – although I get the reference. We have four real-life rabbits.

  5. Julia says:

    If you’re looking for periods, you are welcome to take mine. 😉

    But I hear you – it is nice to feel like your body is operating the way it wants to operate. I wish the best for you and Doug.

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